My strengths and weaknesses - Sept 2023

1. I can offer wisdom gained through (traumatic) experience. Because of my early life, I’m a fighter. I’m physically powerful and flexible and adept at yoga. I’m mentally sensitive which makes me highly attuned to people. This is one of my biggest skills as a yoga teacher, reading people moment to moment and having a lot of ideas to draw upon. I am committed to my personal evolution and I’m passionate about other people's evolution. I’m a good conversationalist and enjoy words - evocative/poetic and precise use of language is another of my strengths as a yoga teacher. I want to offer yoga which inspires people to love and accept themselves as they are, to really know themselves. Ultimately I want to empower people by giving them practical tools with which to enjoy their lives more.

2. People said I’m a good listener. Curious. Humble. Amazing energy. Patient. Creative. Articulate. Flexible. Strong. Courageous. Inspiring. Also, serious, blunt, impulsive, negative, too deep, self involved. 

3. I’m not wanting to limit myself to a specialisation now but it may come. Contenders are yoga for anxiety, yoga for digestion, yoga for trauma.

1. My ideal client would be any person really open to transformation. Someone willing to collaborate with me on their personal evolution. Someone willing to be brave - be honest, try new things, move out of their comfort zone. Someone ready for the work that transformation requires and wants to go on an exciting adventure together into the unknown!

1. I would like to specialise in trauma-informed yoga. All yoga therapy should be trauma-informed Codependents, children of alcoholics. Those who are isolated, too scared to get close to others. People who never put their own life jacket on first. Those who have thick armour around their hearts for good reason but are ready to take it off. It is too heavy and they are mature enough to be vulnerable and thrive.

1. The obstacle in my way is only my own self doubt and my physical and mental health issues. I have invested many years in talking therapy and continue to go weekly to build my self esteem and heal the trauma of my past. I continue to distance myself from the toxic people in my life and heal relationships that can be improved. 

When I’m doubtful I can remind myself I’m a good yoga teacher because I have been told many times and old students often come back as they can’t find a replacement for our classes. I put off making decisions about what I want to do with my yoga career as a way to hold myself back from risk. But what's the worst that can happen? 

My life purpose is to pass on the love and support I have received from so many beautiful people over the years. 

There’s always something... Jan, 2022

When you argue with reality, you lose— but only 100% of the time. Byron Katie

My first thought when I realised there was a global pandemic afoot was, there’s always bloody something.

There is, isn’t there. There’s always something. And if it’s plain sailing now, it won’t last long.

If you too have experienced this to be true, then logically speaking we can be sure it will be true in the future. This is good news. It means we can drop right now any anticipation whatsoever of there being nothing. That brings acceptance which in turn brings a softening of the jaw muscles and a lessening of the wish things were different. If there’ll always be something, big or small, then we must find a way to work with that something.

You can look at your ‘something’ right now. Look it in the face. If it’s going nowhere fast, you might as well view it as an opportunity for growth, because the alternative is that it isn’t. Make your choice. So how can you use this challenge to do things differently? How have you dealt with challenges in the past and how might you deal with this one with a little more elegance and ease than last time? Might that be possible?

This process is known in Vedic sankrit as using your buddhi, your intellect, to reason your way more smoothly and peacefully through life. Rather than struggle with reality, you use your intellectual mind to clear the path, as opposed to hacking your way through exhausted. This is mindfulness in action. Mindfulness also means using the power of our minds rather than letting our minds use us.

Often when we decide something is a ‘problem’, we create a resistant relationship to it (because it’s a ‘problem’). We have started a fight. So, therefore, to do things differently we would have to accept things as they are. This acceptance has a palpable effect on our muscles and brain. Thinking thus, we have freed ourselves from an exhausting battle with reality simply by stepping away from the battlefield. This has been achieved simply by applying logic to the problem using our intellectual minds.

We can change by creating time to think rather than fight. Now that you are working with what is, your problem now becomes your chance, an opportunity for growth, grit to your mill. How can I use it? Reasoning, it’s now OK that it’s there. Imagine it might be like this for some time longer, how would you relate to it differently then? What can do you to make your life more comfortable with it here now? I bet you have some ideas.

If there’s always something, thats what you’ve got to work with. Logical.

Namaste.

Yoga for Anxiety, Burnout, Insomnia - is your mind for or against you?

‘Your own thinking mind is not your friend, get rid of him.’

‘The mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master.’

I went clothes shopping in Cambridge with some reluctance - its exhausting.

Stop. There it is. A lie. An erroneous thought. Shopping in Cambridge is not exhausting - I believe in the thought it is because I make it exhausting. Shopping in Cambridge is not exhausting in itself. Logical fact. This is mindfulness born from meditation practice.

The truth is I only spotted this wrong thought far too late when I looked back in hindsight on a day in Cambridge which caused me so much anxiety, burnout and insomnia. All born from believing one wrong thought. I give myself credit for noticing exactly how I got in such a mess.

Yoga as a prescription - tell me what you are suffering from and I’ll tell you how yoga can help. And its very often not the poses you need, although they always help. The ancient tradition of yoga offers a vast toolkit for how to better deal with this business of living, from postures to ayurveda medicine, from breath-work to philosophy, from diet to meditation techniques.

And what is it people are suffering from now? Problems of the mind - anxiety, burnout, insomnia. You can deal with these problems via the mind and the body but the source of so many of our problems nowadays is believing our wrong thoughts.

Why are you anxious? Because you’re believing in your untrue thoughts. How did we get to burnout when the next person didn’t? Because of the way we think about work and rest. Why can’t we sleep? Because our mind is too loud and we can’t think what needs to be done, this hopelessness leading to more anxiety.

Meditation practice teaches you the nature of your mind so that it doesn’t so often sabotage you. Meditation helps us see there are only two ways our mind works - for us or against us. If we believe we are the mind, then we also believe the mind when its working against us. This is a grave mistake. There is a ruinous, treacherous side to your mind - you know, the voice inside which says you’re useless/fat/lazy/stupid/greedy/broken/depressed/unlovable or they/she/he/it is all those things. When you believe in this side of your mind, YOU are making yourself all those things quite literally by believing them. It’s a very dangerous game and is what we refer to when we say ‘he is his own worst enemy.’

Simply put, meditation practice helps you notice your mind and what it is up to. We learn to proceed when it is working for us, and ignore it when it is not. That takes some effort and can only be done if you noticed it was working against you in the first place, as I failed to do in Cambridge. Through meditation we learn to make our minds work for us , refusing to remain enslaved by it for a moment longer.

Watch this intro to meditation by Jonathan Hinde:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQgnhOEruiQ&t=561s&ab_channel=JonathanHinde

What is yoga therapy?

‘Therapeutic’ definition: the branch of medicine concerned with the treatment of disease and the action of remedial agents.

Google definition of yoga therapy: Yoga is an ancient practice of harmonizing the body with the mind and breath using physical poses, breathing exercises and meditation. ... Yoga therapy is a process of empowering individuals to progress toward improved health and well being through the application of the teachings and practices of yoga.

Yoga therapy can be done in small groups or individually and it will emphasise a collaborative relationship between therapist and client. The idea to meet yourself as you are, whatever is going on with you, accept what you find and work together to improve your physical and mental health if thats needed. Generating self-compassion is a major component in yoga therapy, as it is only through this loving energy that healing and health promotion will occur. We can have many old patterns, beliefs and blocks in the way of taking better care of ourselves, some that go back to childhood. The inner work required to clear away obstacles that stand in the way of our innate inner state of peace and love often takes some commitment and hard work. That is the work that therapist and client co-create week by week as you move towards deep self-understanding and acceptance.

The postures and breath-work of yoga provide the best ‘way in’ to work with and shift the blocks that hold us back from evolving into an enlightened being.

How one-to-one yoga helps with stress and anxiety

Can you remember a moment in a yoga class, when you really learnt something new? You felt it, took it onboard, like a eureka moment. And do you remember your yoga teacher? Their voice, movement, passion?

When we learn something profound it is often because of the connection between us and our teacher. It is their passion and way of transmitting that passion to us, that makes it a profound learning experience. A good yoga teacher helps us not only connect with them, but most importantly they help us connect with ourselves in new and meaningful ways.

Having a teacher tailor a yoga class at The Yoga Shed just to you can seem like an indulgence. And it is, a wonderful one! You’re worth it. I strongly believe 1-2-1 yoga classes are something everyone should try at some point in their life. They are quite different to a group yoga class, where you can remain quite disconnected from your teacher who may know very little about you. By contrast individual yoga classes are all about the power of connection, with the yoga teacher totally focused on what you need to move to the next level in your personal development, physical and mental. It could be the best gift you could give yourself.

Top 3 reasons to invest in 1-to-1 yoga classes at The Yoga Shed, Saffron Walden

1) It’s a good investment. If you are serious about your personal development, 1-2-1 classes will take you further, faster. Think about how much you might spend on a personal trainer, a massage or therapy sessions. Individual yoga classes at The Yoga Shed combine many therapeutic practices, from mindfulness, breath work, postures, relaxation and strength building.

2) You’re worth it. Consider what you do every week exclusively for the comfort, health and care of others. Put that effort in a pile. Now consider what you do every week exclusively for the comfort, health and care of yourself. Put that effort in a pile. Which is bigger? Is that sustainable? One hour per week just for your own self-care is the least you can offer yourself.

3) It is more therapeutic. The personalised nature of a 1-2-1 practice will mean you get what YOU need out of your practice every week, not a one-size-fits-all class. Click here for 1-to-1 yoga classes at the Yoga Shed Saffron Walden, UK.

Please email or call to find out more: petrabarnby@gmail.com / 07546 684 273

How the right yoga studio promotes relaxation and stress management

I have practised inside many yoga studios in my time as a student, from windowless cave-like rooms, to dusty community centre floors, to creaky draughty church halls. If the yoga teacher was good, these less-than-ideal spaces became less distracting. My favourite yoga spaces were always bright, with windows letting in light and fresh air, and always spotlessly clean. What some yoga teachers seemed to forget was that yoga students are so close to the ground that a stray hair, muddy patch of floor or - the very worst - a toenail, can become quite off putting! It is also important that a yoga space feels safe and containing - too many doors or windows can make students feel vulnerable. It is always relaxing when a yoga space is almost empty of things/colours, so the eyes and mind can rest.

The Perfect Yoga Studio at The Yoga Shed, Saffron Walden, UK

The Yoga Shed Saffron Walden was once a garage. I knew it would make a good local yoga studio for yoga classes Saffron Walden, because it would have large floor-to-ceiling doors to let in the light, views and air from our southwest-facing garden. I designed one end of the new yoga studio to be windowless, making students feel cocooned. The floor was raised and insulated making it warm and laid with oak making it smooth and easy to clean. The walls and ceilings are white and there is one olive tree to punctuate the space. My logo and theme is black/white to represent balance and harmony (yin/yang). Click here for pictures of the Yoga Studio in Saffron Walden.

But my favourite bit about The Yoga Shed in Saffron Walden UK, is how the beautiful green garden view is framed by the large doors, so it looks like a huge picture of nature, shifting with light and changing with the symbolic seasons. Click here for Yoga class availability in Saffron Walden.

Physical and psychological benefits of Yoga - my psychosomatic story by Petra Barnby

Aug 2020

At first, the stomach pain was so overwhelming and sudden I assumed I must have eaten something. This was the second time I had had a spasm like this in 48 hours. It was a twisted stuck-feeling knot, deep down, that was so painful it took my breath away. I had to lie down, which no stomach pain had ever forced me to do before, except during labour. 

What had I eaten? And why had I never had a pain like this before? It was different to food poisoning because there was zero nausea with it. It felt more like a digestive ‘road closed’ sign and there was no diversion. Digestion being so fundamental to health, it felt honestly like I might die. 

My brain searched first for material answers - it must be food, I thought, but I had eaten nothing rotten or out of the ordinary. No alcohol. Not the time of the month, nothing had happened to provide an obvious answer. 

At the time, I was on holiday with my entire family, including two people with whom I had always had strained relationships. I had my husband and two small children with me, who desperately wanted me to join them on the beach. But I couldn’t get up. 

The knot drew tighter inside and I looked down at my perfectly normal looking tummy. What is going on, I whispered to it as I stroked it. What is the problem? What do you need? What are you trying to tell me? I am listening. My pain was so acute that there was literally nothing I could do but lie still and wait. 

While waiting, I listened. I used my yoga experience to feel what the cause could be. My intuition, my gut, told me it wasn’t something I had consumed. So I then asked myself what was occurring in my life at that moment. I was away from home, which often gives me anxiety as bags need to be packed and the kids and I can be unsettled by all the changes. Was it just anxiety? The pain was too much for that. It was the sort of pain that was saying ‘stop’ very loudly. But stop what, I wondered?

What was happening at the time of the two spasms? I had been walking with one of the two family members who I found difficult and my 7 year old daughter and when we arrived home my family member and I had a nasty but petty argument, and I stormed upstairs. That was when this spasm came on. The first one, I couldn’t remember what was happening when it had occurred. Could it be my body telling me something about the nature of my relationship with that family member? That it had to stop? Certainly the pain was keeping me away from that person. And interestingly they had not come up to see how I was. 

That is when I realised my first spasm had occurred after an argument with the other family family with whom I had a strained relationship. 

My body was telling me to stay away from those people. Something had occured in my body which made being with them no longer an option. My body was telling me it was time to get out of those relationships. 

Now I heard the signs loud and clear and I knew in my gut this was my body’s way of forcing an issue which was long overdue - to overhaul and reset healthier relationships with those two people by way of putting my Self first. And it was about much more than those two people - it was about how I related to my Self, about what I was willing to tolerate, about how much I was able to love my Self. The deeper wisdom of my body had literally forced my hand and taught me the most important life lesson - put your own oxygen mask on first. Love your Self first.

Now I see many of my other illnesses as having been my body’s way of teaching me how to love my Self better. I will be forever grateful to the knowing divinity of my body and now I always have an ear out listening for what it is trying, whispering or shouting, to teach me. 

 Namaste

with special thanks to Gabor Mate for his book When The Body Says No

'Find your voice' should be 'refine your voice' - Aug 3, 2020

One thing I love about social media is watching people’s journey from tentatively starting out to ‘finding their voice.’ This expression has been on my mind a lot lately - its the holy grail isn’t it? Once we have turned over that stone and found it, everything else will fall into place. If only we knew where to look!

Of course it doesn’t work like that. Its yet another example of language pointing us in totally the wrong direction. We don’t find our voice at all, we refine it over time. Age, wisdom, experience all help us to be more confident in what we are saying and to speak more clearly and slowly as we get older (ideally). But it is not a given.

We need another ingredient and that is the willingness to practice, to keep facing the fear of being seen and listened to. To not only have the courage to say what you truly think despite how others might react. It is a very subtle question - what is worth saying now and what should be left unsaid? What is the kindest way of saying that thing? What is the clearest way? These decisions are often made on the spot as we speak and once way to help make the right decisions is to SLOW DOWN. Are you worth the others person’s time? Yes, if you speak with care and kindness, everyone will love to hear you speak.

All of this takes practice but the sort which makes you uncomfortable. It has to be new for you for your voice to grow. Pay more compliments, tell that person why you like them, speak to that person who intimidates you, ask how the cashier is doing, say that taboo thing which you think needs to be shown to the light.

We have so many opportunities everyday to practice speaking better and more honestly and more kindly. We also have social media, an amazing platform for this practice. It gives many of us a great chance to reach towards those fears, all it takes it practice practice practice and a willingness to make mistakes. How else can we refine our voices?

My experience of making videos online has been nothing but positive. So many failed attempts, so many excruciating moments seeing and hearing myself in other peoples’ eyes, so much tech frustration but it has been so worth it because it has really helped me refine my voice and at the same time added offerings from my heart which, although imperfect, I think add value to the world.

Imagine if we all pressed ‘record’ and, rather than judge, we enjoyed each other refining our voices.

Post-lockdown Emotions & Back to Fitness

As well as saying goodbye to my freedom during lockdown, I also said goodbye to my fitness. At least the fitness I had. For a while there, I mourned the losses until I was forced to look to a new way of relating to my bones.

There were more walks, very slow and kind yoga poses without sequences or flow, done to simply keep my muscles and joints ventilated during lockdown. Having two young kids out of school, I had no strength at one point so I fell to my knees and starting the slowest gentlest cat/cows of my life, just to pay homage to my poor spine, my backbone, my centre which was shifting like the ground beneath it. I finally surrendered to my weakness, to being truly out of control. I soon realised that the control had always been illusion.

As always yoga held me during my quietest, most vulnerable moments, when I felt like my insides had been scooped out. No brain to think, no strength to hold up my body or mind, just a willingness to let go and allow this Covid tsunami to sweep over me. Often I smiled with the peace of it all, sometimes I struggled, but I always knew deep down this was bigger than me. This was a tectonic plate shifting, a volcano reforming the ground, a storm to shake off the old leaves and we are all waiting to see what is left behind.

My ‘fitness’ has certainly gone but I wonder now what that really means. I am loving being kinder and gentler to my bones, my muscles, my joints. Smaller, sweeter, kinder and gentler seems to be the flow of my particular river right now. How about yours?

Beware the voices in our heads - the mental health benefits of yoga

I would like to share this beautiful exchange with a student of mine with whom I shared some very negative ‘voices in my head’ as part of a class handout. I wanted to be vulnerable enough to share my ‘dark side’ so that my students know they are not alone in having voices which sometimes tear them down.

Both my student and I have experienced suicides close to hand, and we know it was our friend’s BELIEF in the fraudulent voices that pushed them over the edge. This is a warning: please beware of the voices. They are LYING and they are not your friend. Meditation is one way of becoming more mindful of what total bullshit can go on in our heads so we spot the invaders before they do any lasting damage.

This was what I wrote:

I'm a fraud, I'm a negative force. I bring others down, everyone knows how to be happy and get on with life, and I just get analytical and ruin the fun. It’s them and me. I'm visibly lying, I'm fraudulent, I don’t have enough training to make people love me. I never will. 

Everyone is smiling, saying they love it, they love me, but it’s all fake. Everyone knows there’s something rotten and so they don't come back, but they won’t tell me. Ben says he loves me but I don't believe him. He wishes he did! 

When I think of converting the garage into a yoga studio I see nothing but effort and dashed hopes. Being seen by him and others to have failed again. Another career tried and given up on.

A nauseatingly cushy life, can’t even find happiness. The idea of living with myself for my whole life fills me with dread. Just more of this rotting, of this struggling, of this sadness.  

I give up. I am so ready to admit defeat. Should I admit I am rotten? Stop pretending anything is ‘fine or normal’ about me. That I am broken? I always was, always will be, that is part of who I am. Embrace the broken?….

Kindly and beautifully re-written by my student Sarah Fawcett:

I am genuine.  I am a positive force. I lift others up. No one really knows how to be happy and get on with life.  We all get analytical and spoil the moment. It’s them WITH me and it’s the reality. Everyone knows we are vulnerable.  I only need the ones that come back. Ben says he loves me and I need to allow him to. I know he does.

 When I think of converting the garage I see effort and hope. Being seen by him and others as having tried.  Another career tried and explored.

 A fortunately cushy life in which I can find joy.  The idea of living with myself for my whole life is a daunting adventure.  More resilience, more challenges, more sadness at times.  I will not give up.  I will not admit defeat.  I can admit my weaknesses.  I don’t have to pretend that everything is fine.  I am normal.  I have been broken but I survived and it is part of who I am.  Embrace the broken!

How to slow down - yoga for stress and anxiety relief

It is my experience that the source of all problems and suffering is when we deny our Selves for the sake of others. We celebrate selflessness and decry selfishness but these terms need to be re-examined. Isn’t there negative selflessness and positive selfishness?

These are very important questions; How can we fill another’s cup if our own is empty? How can we fit another’s oxygen mask before we have fitted our own?

We are born pure with our own inner voice/intuition. But our conditioning instils in us other voices - the voices of our parents/society/protocols etc. Eventually many of us will not be able to discern our own voice and the voice of ‘others’. Our inner world becomes confused, like a fog, and we ‘don’t know what to think’ anymore. Combining this with a speeded up society, where doing more is worn like a badge of honour, most of us become completely disconnected from our inner voice. It is still there trying to be heard but we wouldn’t know how to recognise it. 

A big clue is the body

Your true Self tries to get your attention via the body - butterflies in the stomach (anxiety), creepy skin (mistrust), lightness (joy), rising flush in the face and constriction (anger), heart beating (fear). There are all sorts of physical signs that guide us what to do but it can be easy to ignore them in favour of what society thinks is ‘right.’ We may never have been told these sensations hold an important message. Over time ignoring them can lead to chronic disease. (Read ‘When the Body Says No’ by Gabor Mate.)

You’ll be breaking the habit of a lifetime

To come home to our Selves, which is what yoga aims to help us do, we can start by slowing down. This gives us a chance to listen, to distinguish the ‘I shoulds' from the ‘I needs’. Who should come first, you or others? This is when you need to decide how important you are to your Self because many of us are conditioned from a young age that putting others’ first is the ‘right’ thing to do. But what will happen to your kids if you don’t put your oxygen own mask on first?

It might be messy

It is my experience that when we listen, really listen, to what our inner voice is asking, we hear things we do not expect or finally hear things we have been ignoring for a long time. Our inner voice always has our best interests at heart. Self-care is a popular buzz word and sounds like massages and healthy food. But putting your Self first is often not pretty. The status quo needs to be interrupted, and those losing out will protest. From the outside it may appear negative when you put your Self first but it will never feel negative. This is why it is so important to stay connected to how you feel, really feel, every day. We slow down, we feel more, we feel better. We feel our decisions, we feel what needs to be done, and the mind can take a break. Life becomes easier. 

This week, at least once for each activity:

• slow down when you shower

• slow when you eat

• slow down when you leave the house

• slow down when you exercise

• slow down when you speak

Next: 

What happens to your body when you slow down?

What happens to your experience of those activities?

Can you hear your Self?

Can you feel what you need to do in your life to honour your Self?

Recommendation: read ‘The Power of Now' by Eckhart Tolle.