One thing I love about social media is watching people’s journey from tentatively starting out to ‘finding their voice.’ This expression has been on my mind a lot lately - its the holy grail isn’t it? Once we have turned over that stone and found it, everything else will fall into place. If only we knew where to look!
Of course it doesn’t work like that. Its yet another example of language pointing us in totally the wrong direction. We don’t find our voice at all, we refine it over time. Age, wisdom, experience all help us to be more confident in what we are saying and to speak more clearly and slowly as we get older (ideally). But it is not a given.
We need another ingredient and that is the willingness to practice, to keep facing the fear of being seen and listened to. To not only have the courage to say what you truly think despite how others might react. It is a very subtle question - what is worth saying now and what should be left unsaid? What is the kindest way of saying that thing? What is the clearest way? These decisions are often made on the spot as we speak and once way to help make the right decisions is to SLOW DOWN. Are you worth the others person’s time? Yes, if you speak with care and kindness, everyone will love to hear you speak.
All of this takes practice but the sort which makes you uncomfortable. It has to be new for you for your voice to grow. Pay more compliments, tell that person why you like them, speak to that person who intimidates you, ask how the cashier is doing, say that taboo thing which you think needs to be shown to the light.
We have so many opportunities everyday to practice speaking better and more honestly and more kindly. We also have social media, an amazing platform for this practice. It gives many of us a great chance to reach towards those fears, all it takes it practice practice practice and a willingness to make mistakes. How else can we refine our voices?
My experience of making videos online has been nothing but positive. So many failed attempts, so many excruciating moments seeing and hearing myself in other peoples’ eyes, so much tech frustration but it has been so worth it because it has really helped me refine my voice and at the same time added offerings from my heart which, although imperfect, I think add value to the world.
Imagine if we all pressed ‘record’ and, rather than judge, we enjoyed each other refining our voices.